Whew, Christmas really flew by this year. My brother and his girlfriend were down for the weekend a couple weeks ago to celebrate the holidays, so by the time actual Christmas came it felt like we’d already been done with the celebrations. But, it was great having my Grandpa here. He’s hilarious—seriously, the funniest 90-year-old I’ve ever met. We took him to the casino yesterday because, believe it or not, he loves to gamble. It’s the strangest thing because he’s so frugal, probably the most financially-conscious person in my family, and yet he gets a kick out of gambling. Every time he comes to Evansville, one of the first things out of his mouth is, “We go to the casino.” I’m not going to lie, I had a great time gambling. Of course, he gave me money, so I didn’t really have anything to lose. But after about an hour, I was down on my luck and ready to go. But Gramps is like a machine in front of those slots, pardon the pun. He gets into the zone, and no one can move him until he’s ready to go. It was a classic Gahan family moment. I told my mom that the scene of her, me and Gramps gambling could be the opening to a tragic family drama film. “How the Gahans Gambled Christmas.”
Now that Christmas is over, I’ve started thinking about my New Years resolutions. I feel like I always have the same ones each year: lose weight, eat healthier, exercise more, keep in touch with people better. But, I always give up on those goals quickly. I’ve never been good about committing to things, as people well know. My dad is the exact same way. We have these grand goals of dramatically changing our lifestyles, but before you know it, we’re back to our old ways. A lot will change this year, too. I’m graduating from my Master’s program and hopefully starting a new job in DC. I actually have started to consider moving more and more, though. I love DC, I really do, and honestly I’d prefer staying in the city. But, if I find it difficult to land a job and something becomes available in another city, maybe New York or in Europe somewhere, I won’t turn it down. I want to be open to all possibilities. If I close myself off to something, I’ll always regret it. So, we’ll see where this new year brings me. It’s amazing to think that I’ll be working full time before 2012 is over! And I’ll have a salary—hot damn, that sounds great.
It’s been a lovely year. 2011 was the bulk of my grad school experience, the time when I got the closest to my friends in DC. I feel like I’ve really created a home there for myself with some fabulous people. I also had a crazy, albeit great, summer, busy with a 9-5 job, night seminars and an online course. I’m not sure how I survived it, to be honest. I also had the experience of actually dating someone for real, which is somewhat of a first for me. Of course, it didn’t work out, but regardless, it was a good experience that I definitely don’t regret.
It’s easy to say “this will change next year, and I’ll do more of that,” but I think it’s much better to just be honest with ourselves. We can have ambitions of changing ourselves into the people we want to be, or we can just acknowledge the reality of the human condition—life is a constant struggle to become a better person. It doesn’t take a New Year’s resolution to reach that ultimate goal. It takes a lifetime of them. My dad bought me one of Nelson Mandela’s books for Christmas, and on the first page is a beautiful line. He writes: “A saint is a sinner who keeps trying.” The key is to never stop trying. To never give up on the person you really want to be. New Year’s resolutions are just little reminders that much is left to be done when it comes to our own personal development as people, as good people. But it’s also a lovely reminder that none of us are in this alone. Everyone is constantly evolving, and everyone needs encouragement to keep going. So, raise your glass to the people you love, and recognize that we may not be perfect, but at least we’re together in that. Happy New Year, everyone.
(via 
